Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost

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Nightmare Fuel October 2012, Day 9

Careful With That Razor's Edge

One boot on the man’s back, wire in her hands. “Red eyes. You know what that means.”

On his knees, hands behind his back, struggling to right himself. “What it means is that I smoked pot a few hours ago and I’m having trouble sleeping. Nothing more.”

“Yeah, right. Your pockets are stuffed with posies. What’s that supposed to mean? You’re a kleptomaniac gardener? Give me a reason to not tighten this strap.”

“Safety measure. Look, I haven’t got no plague alright– watch me not cough or anything. Don’t be paranoid.”

A moment’s hesitation. “Paranoia got me this far, buddy.”

Nightmare Fuel October 2012, Day 8

Optophobia

Suicide by Cop

Lucy was in one of her moods when Clark came home from the office. The house was nearly speckless and dinner was cooking – something sweet. Even the bits of flappy wallpaper had been glued back to the wall. She wore a dress that was all buttons and flowers and an apron over that and she smiled her pearlywhite when Clark walked in through the door.

He struggled out of his jacket and scarf and hat. It was the 1950’s in the house and he tried to remember the rules for leaving shoes on inside the house.

“Shoot any criminals today, hon?” she asked him.

A scoff. “You know I just do paperwork, sugar.”

“But you brought the gun home, yes?” She was on tiptoes to kiss him and let her arms stay behind her back, balancing herself like a ballet dancer.

“Yes, as is regulation.” He rolled his eyes. Hung the jacket and holster on the wooden thing that looked a bit like a tree and had no name as far as he was concerned. Pulled away from the kiss and stepped into the kitchen, “need any help with this?”

There was a strong smell of syrup and it hit him like a sack of meat to the face and watered his eyes.

“No! It’s all me.” She dragged him out into the hall again and slammed the door. “Go do something manly. Watch sports or something.”

“I don’t even like– what is it you’re cooking anyway?”

He waited a bit at the door, shaking his head and opening his eyes carefully. She stood before him again with a silver tray and a smile and a curtsy. On the silver tray were two beer cans. “Drinking beer is manly,” she said.

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