Contact Punkt
Email: johannes dot punkt at gmail dot com
Writing credentials: Got the books Recreational Near-Death-Experiences: the detriments and benefits of mushroom poisoning and The Middle Edda: a new translation published through Basingstoke University Press, though you’d probably have to look for them in antique shops nowadays (or ask me nicely for a .pdf).
Praise (things people have actually said about me)
“Like a kinky Edgar Allan Poe” — a guy I met at a party.
“omg johannes is a shockingly good rapper” — J. Kingsley, definitely an actual poet
“You even look like a poet when you’re picking out onions.” — a friend I went shopping with.
“Good use of cicadas.” — an old roommate.
Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost 
Hi Punkt. I enjoy your drabbles. I also enjoy the theme you use. I have stolen the latter and been inspired by the former. Forgive me if someday in the near future you identity is stolen. It will, literally, be your own fault.
Hello Auricle! I am so glad that you like my style. I took the liberty of installing new pairs of eyes in the humanoid silhouettes that hang out in your periphery so that I could admire you admiring me. :)
Can’t believe I fell for that. Basingstoke doesn’t have a university. I am a British university lecturer. I’m also a stalker. Delete this message.
What? I mean it’s a small university but it’s still a real university. Surely if a thing is mentioned on two websites it’s real? Cf: http://thrustingsensations.co.uk/blog/?p=34
Another book published by the BUP is Salandra Duchov’s Numberology, which I published a review of here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/237006205/the-cult-of-numbers-johannes-punkt-with
You educate me with your falsities.
Yes, I want this. (Is it real?)
I will trace you Punkt. I will rub my neural networks in the steam of your thoughts.
(Warped writing attracts warped fandom. I am safe, do not worry.)
The review is real! I’d be delighted if you bought and read it. :)
Etsy is already working its magic. Your delight is a pleasant side-effect of this now inexorable process.