This morning, her umbrella tried to eat her. Umbrellas are hungry and they have long thin teeth like needles.
Anything she opens becomes a mouth, and it often sees her as food. It is why she appreciates the chivalry so much, why the rain soaks her so often outside of pubs.
She found out her new bank account had eaten all her money. Just as good, she could never live anywhere that had doors anyway.
She tried to end it the day before she got evicted, but the deeper she cut the more it could open. She didn’t even bleed.