[Spoiler Warning: Welcome to Night Vale]
I just wanted to say a thing or two about a thing or two. This post presupposes knowledge of the Night Vale fandom, and of Night Vale (commonplacebooks.com/welcome-to-night-vale/). Spoilers up to episode 31.
I feel like I need to point out a few things, is all. Let’s start by defining a term. Actually, let’s start by saying that I absolutely love Night Vale, and the characters, and the fandom. That said, here’s the term:
Iceberging: noun. The opposite practice of shipping; the gleeful sinking of ships. twitter.com/kewangji/status/378069780432830464
It’s pretty obvious to me that Carlos and Cecil have a relationship that will run its course and burn itself or something else to the ground. To support my theory I will present a few pieces of evidence for you, but I should also define another term that you’re probably more familiar with.
Putting someone on a pedestal: This means, essentially, that you build up a ‘perfect’ (recognize that word?) idol of someone in your head, and when you interact with the real person who is outside your head, you hold them up to the standards of this perfect person who doesn’t exist anywhere else than outside your head.
So, evidence number 1: Cecil has been obsessively stalky about Carlos for, like, a year, often calling him perfect on live radio, without really knowing him. He’s put Carlos on a pedestal since day one. “And I fell in love instantly.”
2. One of the first things he said about their relationship, once it had started, was something about how Carlos chews too loudly when eating. My hypothesis here is that the version of Carlos inside Cecil’s head does not have any such ‘annoying’ habits, and caters to every one of Cecil’s whims from atop that pedestal. “His perfect teeth and hair and penchant for sometimes chewing a little more loudly than is preferred.”
3. Cecil’s utter mood swings and his low attention span. “Telly. You remember – the deceitful barber with a shriveled soul who, just a few weeks ago, cut perfect scientist Carlos’ perfect, beautiful hair very short … so very, very short!”
4. Throughout most of episode 31, A Blinking Light up on the Mountain, Carlos is busy cooking dinner instead of investigating the approaching army and the mysterious blinking light. Cecil has told him that he needs to ‘prioritize’ (I forget the exact wording) and put other people before his own needs. This tells me two things: that Cecil has unreasonably high standards and, together with evidence 3, the emotional maturity of a sullen teenager. “Some of this realization might have come with help from those around him.”
5. Sullen teenagers’ relationships tend to end sooner rather than later, and often spectacularly. “She was still sipping her coffee too often. Perhaps her feeling of lack of control stems from a personal issue rather than the impending doom we imagined. Stress from her failure to live up to her own self-imposed life goals, for instance, or a relationship that wasn’t exactly the relationship she had envisioned it would be. But who knows?”
This post has been argued from the facts available and the canon available; I have not argued from headcanon. There are lots of justifications easily available through headcanon, but if you wish to refute my points and try change my mind about this, I would appreciate a similar approach. I happen to be giddily anticipating the break-up of Carlos and Cecil, because Night Vale do these kinds of things magnificently, and First Date was such a good episode. I’m enjoying the story, and the story happens to be filled with creepy things, death, and strong emotions.
(tl;dr I am a huge dork and a meanieface.)