The Balance
by johannespunkt
as it relates to the things I write.
First of all: crud. I have a story with a deadline of tomorrow night (!!!) and I need to rewrite a lot of it.
This post is sort of a ‘me go too far’ post, countering the one where I totally figured everything out you guys with all the neologisms. I need less neologisms, perhaps. Still some, though.
Someone pointed out that I am probably complicating things too much, and being unaccessible in my writing. This is probably true when even I can’t figure out who the hell would relate to that story and feel emotionally compelled to continue on if they hadn’t already spent a lot of time inside my cranium.
This is not to say the story is bad – it’s not. It’s just lacking an element. Like, you have all these ingredients for an amazing salad but the ingredients are on different continents and you have to start a cargo company for others to be able to enjoy this meal. This fantastical scenario takes place in a world where you are the only entrepeneur at all, everybody else just … uh, makes a decent living doing other people’s laundry.
Anyway, posting publically about this so that I will guilt myself into finishing rewriting the story on time. I can do this!
Also to the people who are proofreading the story RIGHT NOW you people are awesome like fond memories or helium balloons or a pill that you can eat that teaches you jazz just like that. Not to devalue jazz. Jazz is difficult.
~
tl;dr? Even if it sounds awesome, things like “Patterns of electricity, or something smaller than electricity, spelled fear into the lack of an audience.” isn’t an easily understandable sentence and definitely something I shouldn’t put out there without context. And that was something I wrote trying to make the introduction more easy to follow. This might be a long night.
That’s a *wonderful* sentence. The function of such statements, for me as a reader, is to stop the brain / hypnotise us into receptivity for what follows. I can feel it happen, a subdued agog, everything suddenly goes very quiet inside. (Do you know about the Pattern Interrupt technique as used by Milton Erickson? That.)