Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost

November is coming up and you don’t have a first line clear in your head for NaNoWriMo? Worry not, I’ve got you covered, for certain values of “I”, “‘ve”, “got”, “you”, and “covered”. I’ve also divided them up into different categories to help you along the way.

How about the classic main character’s full name and profession?

Angelo Simone combed algae until it looked like human flesh for a living.

You paid Mary Chang-Swanson £1224.91 to take over your identity and she lived your life better than you until you ran out of credits.

Marcus Solin went every day to the Undentist to earn his filthy lucre.

Or what about an alluring question to draw your readers in to your story?

What exactly is a three-headed tuvkin?

How did Emmet Mason escape the Westfall Jester School?

Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?

If that’s not your style, it’s hard to go wrong with a good in medias res.

I came back home with the owl stuffed into my jacket like I was smuggling it across the border, willing it to not make a single sound.

The library exploded awesomely but tragically.

She swallowed the poison, which action really only made sense in context — I can see how you might be confused right now.

Or you could take a page out of famous writers like Tolstoy, Austen, and others I can’t think of right now and start your novel with a sweeping statement only to paint the devil into the details for the rest of the book.

The best way to make money is always illegal.

Any sufficiently advanced form of syphilis is indistinguishable from Roy Elkins, my third-grade maths teacher whom I loathe.

Tunis is the 114th best city to live in, according to the Mercer Quality of Living Index.

Have fun writing!