Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost

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for Pao

She sits on a log and stares at a procession of forest ants. They all seem to be walking one way, toward the stream; it must be morning.

“You can never know someone fully,” she says. This is upsetting her. “You can never know exactly what someone else thinks, or what they would do in any given situation. Sometimes, you can make an educated guess.”

She thinks for a while, and stops frowning. “This does mean, however, that you can always get to know someone better. There is always more to uncover, always another layer of skin to peel off.”

Trigger Warnings

[Trigger warning: that time you were five and an old man with stripey hair leered at you on the bus, and he wouldn’t look away, and he wasn’t smiling but he was interested, and your mother, right next to you, felt a continent away]

[Trigger warning: a vast, uncaring universe]

[Trigger warning: the time your best friend committed suicide, and knowing however much you shout and scream you cannot argue with her logic]

[Trigger warning: a better world, not entirely unlike this one, but better, and you’re not in it, not even a tiny bit of you]

[Trigger warning: irreversibility]

Cancer Detector

She bought a cancer detector online, set it up, and promptly forgot about it. The same way dogs can sniff out illnesses, the device claimed, it could analyse particles that came into it and sort them. She did not trust the thing, but she had bought it as a ritual, the same way she threw salt over her shoulder or turned her mattress every month.

Whatever; it started beeping in the middle of the night and the man she had taken home left in a hurry, thinking it was a fire alarm, or a good excuse, and that was it.

Disneyland

You must treat a being to luxury before killing it, those are the rules. A hog is given a spa visit: it has a whole mudpool to itself and it rolls around and it makes contented noises and smiles (have you seen a pig smile?). Subsequently, it is slaughtered swiftly and painlessly, though the executioner weeps. A queen invites her greatest enemy to her greatest feast. He shows up with body-guards, who are seduced away, and he is beheaded at the table, in between stuffings of finest pork. A mother, tired and weary, finally takes her pleading son to Disneyland.

What Happened to Me

When I was small, I used to turn anything with eyes away from me, convinced that there were little spy cameras inside them. It looked like all my stuffed toys were ashamed of me. I kept a record of who had given me what items so that I could know who was watching. I would stare agog at them when they were in the room with me, wondering how they could pretend that they did not know that I knew.

I still haven’t figured out what actually happened to me, but I have figured out that it was something bad.

Methane Soul

Image courtesy of The Thrusting Sensations

Image courtesy of The Thrusting Sensations, who have a facebook page: facebook.com/ThrustingSensations, and a website: thrustingsensations.co.uk

There is a flash of lightning and a hundred shipwrecks are visible at once, some awkwardly stacked on top of each other, ancient masts skewering the hulls of newer ships, and broken glass covering the entire ocean floor. Methane gas starts to seep out of the crack in a window of a building in the middle of all this, and the gas becomes bubbles and water rushes in. After a few tries, the glass yawns like an oyster and lets out all the methane it can in a great bubble and then it snaps shut again.

Inside the window, there is a room now filled mostly with water and bobbing wooden debris. The window is round, bulging, and so are the walls of the room. Where the highwatermark goes, straight like a ruler, the unescaped methane from somewhere beneath this tectonic plate takes over. Every time the ocean pressure becomes strong enough to open the crack – like squeezing a tennis ball with a slit in it – the gas is let out, and water rushes in again, and the crack grows just a little bit wider.

Over the months, the wooden debris will soak up enough water to sink to the floor and the water level will follow. The water will continue to sink through a grill-hatch down to a spiral staircase covered in patient algae, half-alive, and the water will continue sinking, trying to reach the point where the staircase ceases to be a staircase and is just a gorge, until it ceases to be a gorge and shrinks to a crack. It will sink towards this because, every so often, a bubble of gas will struggle free from the crack and travel upwards, catching itself on algae on its circuitous route up. The algae is brimming with minuscule remnants of the bubbles.

There are three sets of glassware in this tower: one massive cupola, one huge lightbulb, and one drinking glass. When the water sinks far enough, there will still be water left in this drinking glass, which stands upright on the table every time, though it’s knocked about when the water floods in. The cupola, covering the lightbulb, is filled with water too, and it takes much longer for it to dry out, and it needs to dry out completely. Sparks fly, then, and the lightbulb inside lights up for a brief few moments.

This is when the ocean squeezes the lighthouse until it opens its tiny mouth and breathes out its methane soul and lets the cold water in and everything goes dark again. Sometimes, a ship is caught in the bubble and it’s as though the sea stops existing underneath it for a good ten seconds, and the ship falls and the ocean closes around it again.

In the City of the Dead Last Week

In the city of the dead last week, a man with three tongues tried to kiss me. He said he had three tries, and that he would eat my heart. I turned to liquid and slipped out of his grip, and he fumbled after me, drooling all over himself, his spent tongues lolling, flopping on the floor. I guarded my heart closely on the way out of the city, on the bus with the grinning driver. In the city of the dead, last week, a man with three tongues ate the heart of another girl, someone who stood no chance.

Something Gives

Something gives. You weren’t expecting it, certainly not at a bus stop like this, but once something breaks it breaks. You feel like a pregnant woman, or a dam, as everything spills out of you. The blackmail, the near misses. It was supposed to happen somewhere else, in front of someone you knew, not like this. “I don’t think I will survive the year,” you say, and she almost hugs you, but then her bus arrives. It was your bus, too, but she gets on it and you think better of it. You keep crying until the next bus arrives.

Clear Liquid

A glass of clear liquid, but it is not water. When it stirs (when someone slams a door, when someone hesitantly picks the glass up) the liquid becomes opaque and whatever’s in there spins around nervously. “Drink it,” she says. “See what happens.”

The other one picks up the glass and meets the eye of the thing inside. “Sorry,” she mumbles, then she opens her mouth like a yawning hippopotamus and pours all of it down her throat. A few swallowing noises come from the space where she used to stand. “What happened?” she asks, for a moment visible again.

Dead Sleep

There will be plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead. There will not be enough air. There will be no temperature, but you will invent one. That will be cold. There will not be enough duvet, and your dreams will be restless. It will be like being underwater, and the uncertainty about which way gravity is pulling you. On occasion, you will come closer to the surface and you will almost wake up, but it will be like a sheet of clear ice lies between you and true consciousness, and off you drift again, thinking, “Just five more minutes.”