Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost

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Tag: covert feminism

The Balcony on the First Floor

You’re in love with a Hollywood chick. She takes off her glasses and the whole world shifts into focus, every colour is 20% more vibrant. You get both of you drunk, you hold a speech for her, about how unworthy you are of her; she pushes you off the balcony into the pool. She gets a mohawk, does it up all green and purple. She tells you to go fuck yourself; she gets a restraining order. Is this how it’s supposed to happen? You watch the movies again, to figure out where this all went off-script. You don’t get it.

Open Letter to Ken Woodruff

[Trigger Warning: rape, bad police officers, torture]

[Spoiler Warning: uh, season 2, episode 14 of The Mentalist]

Hello Ken,

I hope you appreciate feedback. This open letter concerns an episode, Blood In, Blood Out of the hit show The Mentalist, an episode which you wrote. More specifically it concerns the ending of it, which I felt was handled very very poorly. I know it is an old episode, and I hope that your writing has grown since.

When you (general you) do writing, you generally write about what’s important to you, and ignore what is not important. I think there was a scene in your episode where you (specific you) overlooked something very important, and I am going to explain why. Do excuse all this build-up before I get to my actual point. It is here so that you (or other readers of this letter) do not misconstrue my critique.

It was a well-told story; you explored a new side of Kimball Cho [an agent of law]; you tied everything together nicely at the end; there were some cool scenes with guns in them.

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List of Rules [Notes on TIME TRAVEL SEX CLUB]

https://zombiesintelligently.com/vignettes/time-travel-sex-club/

  • RULE 1a DO NOT GO HOME WITH ANYONE RULE 1b DO NOT TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL SEX CLUB RULE 1c DO NOT MENTION SPECIFIC DATES/EVENTS RULE 1d DO NOT ALTER HISTORY.
  • RULE 2 NO NAMES.
  • RULE 3 WHEN YOU FEEL THE BUZZ DROP YOUR TIME IS UP; LEAVE. you cannot stay in an unchronized zone forever. there is still a pseudo-time moving forward but independent of the time in the synchronized world, and as reality is made by consensus time-and-place needs to keep all chronoception outside of its zone.
  • RULE 4a WE ARE FOREVER RULE 4b ANY RUMOURS OF US GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ARE STRICTLY FABRICATIONS RULE 4c KEEP FINDING US. Read the rest of this entry »

Hunger (Idea)

Everybody loves vampires. But they’re sort of the old thing now. Zombies have and will always be a big thing because zombies keep … uhm, you know where this sentence is going. I could do zombies – intelligently, mind – but I’m already doing that and that project is kinda secret. Superheroes are on the rise. So, no-one will see this one coming. Ghouls.

Wait, no, don’t leave yet, hear me out, okay? The elevator pitch goes like this: Vultures disappear*, corpse-eating ghouls take their place in the ecosystem, let us monitor them really close to prevent panic and actual zombie invasion and stuff.

Okay so it’s still zombies. But it’s … ghouls. You could make an argument for vampires being zombies and no I’m not getting defensive at all. The main difference between my ghouls and the various kinds of zombies is that the ghouls don’t want living humans. Sometimes they attack each other and it’s kind of sad to watch.

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On Gender-Neutral Pronouns and Other Neologisms

I just figured something out. Gosh, I like the feeling of figuring things out. Goshdarn.

(This is a shortish post. I’ll be writing the first edition of the accompanying page sometime later this week or next week.)

Background: Most every time I present someone with a story where I use gender-neutral pronouns, they say that might distract from the story at hand. I mean, unless they are already as much for such pronouns as I am. The ones I prefer to use are ze and hir (English; pronounced ‘zee’ and something somewhere between her and here, like you started saying ‘his’ but switched the s to an r at the last second) and hen and henom (Swedish; you don’t need the pronunciation). I’ve seen it happen with friends’ stories too. This bothers me because they’re a pretty natural part of my vocabulary.

Solution: Just use more neologisms. Not quite James Joycing it up, but somewhere in that direction.

Just make it part of the story. I would like for language to be all cool with the use of gender-neutral (personal; third-person) pronouns that aren’t they, but obviously it is not. I could mope at individuals for not being as accepting or down with the feminism or [adjective] as I am, or I could just use more neologisms. I love making up words. This is so not a problem. If they think it still distracts (and hey, it still might) that is still their problem.

I will attempt to make a list of all the new words I will henceforth use in my writing. It will be good. It will have the word ‘pinnaturn’ in it, and it will be alphabetical. [EDIT: the glossary is now live: https://zombiesintelligently.com/glossary/]

Also: I totally won ScriptFrenzy with my super secret unbloggable script. Yay me!