List of Rules [Notes on TIME TRAVEL SEX CLUB]

by johannespunkt

https://zombiesintelligently.com/vignettes/time-travel-sex-club/

  • RULE 1a DO NOT GO HOME WITH ANYONE RULE 1b DO NOT TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL SEX CLUB RULE 1c DO NOT MENTION SPECIFIC DATES/EVENTS RULE 1d DO NOT ALTER HISTORY.
  • RULE 2 NO NAMES.
  • RULE 3 WHEN YOU FEEL THE BUZZ DROP YOUR TIME IS UP; LEAVE. you cannot stay in an unchronized zone forever. there is still a pseudo-time moving forward but independent of the time in the synchronized world, and as reality is made by consensus time-and-place needs to keep all chronoception outside of its zone.
  • RULE 4a WE ARE FOREVER RULE 4b ANY RUMOURS OF US GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ARE STRICTLY FABRICATIONS RULE 4c KEEP FINDING US.
  • RULE 5 ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH. as an adult establishment it is important to us and our clients that consent is acquired before any sexual activity (voyeuring is consented to by entering the establishment) takes place.
  • RULE 6 NO REFUNDS.
  • RULE 7 NO RECORDING.
  • RULE 8 KEEP WITHIN THE LAW OF THE MOST CIVILIZED PLACE YOU HAVE BEEN TO. as an establishment outside time, local laws might change but the basic structure of human society will stay the same.
  • RULE 9a DON’T MAKE ANYONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU RULE 9b NO CULTURAL HERITAGE RULE 9c NO PARTICULARLY INNOVATIVE SEX MOVES.
  • RULE 10a NO-ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING RULE 10b YOU OWE NO-ONE ANYTHING.
  • RULE 11 NO POUTING. you are here to party.
  • RULE 12 NO PUNS. do not try to break the automated translation software.
  • RULE 13a NO NEGGING RULE 13b NO FUCKING NEGGING.
  • RULE 14a DO NOT GO TOO OFTEN RULE 14b DO GO REGULARLY. exposure to unchronization may leave you with headaches, hernias, death, foul smells, and sudden teleportation. having a regular day of the month to visit makes your body used to the rhythm.
  • RULE 15 EIGHT OUNCES OF WATER BETWEEN DRINKS. drink responsibly.
  • RULE 16a DO NOT CORRECT YOURSELF RULE 16b DO NOT CORRECT ANYONE.
  • RULE 17a THE DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB DOES NOT INCLUDE TEETH RULE 17b NOR SHALL IT.
  • RULE 18a NO GRANDFATHER PARADOXES RULE 18b NO GRANDMOTHER PARADOXES EITHER.
  • RULE 19 NO BRAGGING.
  • RULE 20 NO FAKING.
  • RULE 21 DO NOT BRING ANY DOPPELGÄNGERS, IDENTICAL TWINS, OR VERSIONS OF YOURSELF FROM OTHER TIMELINES/UNIVERSES.
  • RULE 22 NO SELFCEST.
  • RULE 23 NO THINKING TOO HARD ABOUT IT.
Advertisements