Coke’s New Ad Campaign is Making Me Feel Weird in the Soul

by johannespunkt

I’ve got this irrational fear that someone with the name on the bottle will demand a sip. Unless I can explain exactly who I intend to share the bottle with, of course.

At first I would try to pick bottles with the names of dead friends on them, so I’d be too sad to enjoy my addiction. Any time’s a good time to quit.

Somehow I kept buying bottles. At some point I switched categories from ‘dead friends’ to ‘past lovers’ and hoped that the bottled name would start blinking on my phone screen.

But that’s not going to happen.