What M Stands for
M is for mystery. We don’t know who we are. M is for mistake: she likes the bed that we sleep in because it evens out our bruises and we wake up with identical colours motleying our skin. M is for mischief, for the way she tugs at my hair and turns around, pretending someone else did it, whistling even though she can’t whistle. M is for morphine, her analgesic touch. She likes to rest her hand against my chest and just keep it there. M is for mess, the state of the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen when she leaves.
“She likes to rest her hand against my chest and just keep it there.” Good phrase.
Thank you ^_^
the piece is good, that phrase puts extra bamf into it. without it, it would be too cold. imo.
I like this, but I think the first two sentences are a bit…misguided, or underdeveloped, in the context of the whole. The end is fantastic, but the beginning is a bit ambiguous as to where it leads. Perhaps a little development (after all, this is short fiction) would elucidate it more, unless this waywardness is what you were aiming for.
You’re right, they feel a bit tacked on, don’t they? I can’t do anything about it now but it’s good to know what things are striking people as out of place. Thank you for your comment. :)
Umm… I like it thus (!). The ‘mystery’ sets the scene and leads us from the placeholder of the title into the more-specifics in the rest of the poem. It could be a little sudden starting without those two sentences. And they have the lulling effect we’ve talked about elsewhere.