If You Are Reading This, You May Already Have Lost!
by johannespunkt
If you are reading this, you may have already lost! In order to delay the inevitable, you may wish to run. Here are some tips that will hopefully make it harder for it to catch you:
- always run downwind
- get in the water as often as you can
- don’t think too loud
But do you want the last moments of your life to be filled with dread and terror? Didn’t think so. Instead, I suggest you look away from any doorways, including refrigerator doors and television screens, pour yourself a nice big glass of wine, and relax.
Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost 
I have a gin and cloudy lemonade, does that count?
Oh, definitely! An excellent choice. That will also please the thing that’s coming for you, I’m sure.
I’m playing stuff by Psy, that will surely repel them. Or do I need to start playing 1 Direction?
To be honest, I don’t know how you can still be talking to me, so keep up what you’re already doing! It is great for the research. Are you humming along with the music, stomping your feet or anything?
I’m drunkenly discussing how much I’d like to have Mads Mikke;lsons babies with two of my friends
Oh, you’ve been watching Hannibal? :D I will be watching the season finale later tonight. I am pretty stoked and/or terrified.
My brother says it’s interesting, but following UK series, so only half way through series. If he let’s on, I’ll kill him!
Only tipsily talking actually, I’m not too drunk, yet. I think. Hmm.