If You Are Reading This, You May Already Have Lost!

by johannespunkt

If you are reading this, you may have already lost! In order to delay the inevitable, you may wish to run. Here are some tips that will hopefully make it harder for it to catch you:

  • always run downwind
  • get in the water as often as you can
  • don’t think too loud

But do you want the last moments of your life to be filled with dread and terror? Didn’t think so. Instead, I suggest you look away from any doorways, including refrigerator doors and television screens, pour yourself a nice big glass of wine, and relax.