Johannes Punkt’s Flaskpost

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Tag: drugs


tell me some good news, roche

I’m sorry, you’re really asking the wrong man.

i’m really fiending for a fix, man

I’d love to be like “Okay Dee, the world is full of sunshine and butterflies and also death has been rendered obsolete.”

haven’t had any in weeks. my eyes are bulging. my veins are poppin. c’mon

But the best I’ve got is “I didn’t literally die in the last 24 hours.”

Just tell me that, then, the sunshine and the no-death thing. Just make me believe it. Come on. I’m gullible

I’m bad at lying.


It’s Like a Party in My Pants

It’s like a party in my pants and, like, all the cool kids will be there, but you’ll mostly be hanging around in the kitchen awkwardly drinking from the same one glass of champagne all evening by the fridge, whilst everybody else will be having fun. It’s not your fault, but still. People will try to talk to you from time to time but you won’t have any of that, your face goes red as if to warn other people to stay the heck away. And they will. What I’m saying is, like, kiss me or something. You fucking dork.

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Oh, and Don’t Take More than One a Day, Seriously

This is a sugar pill, intended to help against your hypochondria. I say ”intended” – do you know what a sugar pill is? It is a placebo, it does nothing at all, but in some cases the patients think they help, which helps. It is not a secret, illegal yet highly-effective treatment against the illnesses I’m pretending you do not have, but a simple cough drop that I’ve put in this nondescript jar for you. There is no point in writing anything on the jar, but come back every three weeks and I will fill it up. I hope this helps.